News, etc.

Tuesday, 11 November 2008 What's brown and sounds like a bell?
0wned Joins The YouTube Revolution.. or something

Even though this little website was bringing you 0wnag3 before YouTube was even a twinkle in its father's eye, I've decided to chuck all the movies up on there so they can be appreciated by a wider audience. Something about you guys chewing up their bandwidth instead of mine may also have had something to do with it :)

So if you click a link on the Movies page and end up on YouTube, don't be scared. Embrace the change. Everyone else is. Even your mum is.

Edit: lol took less than an hour to get my first comment. I'm pretty sure it was from your mum.

Sunday, 18 June 2006 ftw
Long time, no see

Some of you may be wondering what kind of slack bastards are running this site. Well.. that'd be me. Hi!

Sorry that it's been so long between updates, but I've got six new movies for you which should keep you going for a while :)

Monday, 13 September 2004 pwnage
First New Movie In Nearly 2 Years

And here you were thinking I was dead again :) Here 'tis - enjoy.

Thursday, 10 July 2003 D'oh!

Hmm well stupid me cancelled my internet account, forgetting that I had about 40 megs worth of movies sitting on its webspace. Luckily I still have backup copies of all of them, so I've uploaded them to somewhere else, but about half the movies were offline for a couple of weeks because of it.

Oh well, sorry!

Saturday, 12 October ASSNINJA!
You Thought I Was Dead, Didn't You? :)

I know I've been neglecting the site for a while, but I've got a very good reason! Umm.. err.. umm.. PC troubles? Yeah, they'll believe that one. Wait a sec.. must've been some well fucked up PC to be offline for 11 months. OK, let's think of something else. Umm.. I've been busy? Nah that's lame. Ah that's right, I was in a coma for 10 months and spent the other month catching up on my e-mail. I was abducted by aliens. I'd finished the site, but my dog at it. Honest Sir!

Seriously though, I've been doing a fair bit of web dev and programming at work, so I haven't really been in the mood to do more of it during my spare time. A thousand apologies to those of you who have checking the site regularly waiting for an update, and for those of you who have submitted material. Most of the stuff handed to me has been put up, but I might have missed a couple of things. I'll be going through my old e-mails and so on within the next week to find anything and add it to the site. Big thanks to all that have contributed.

So, 5 new movies and 7 new pics. My personal faves out of this bunch are the crabvspipe and crowbar movies.. some serious 0wnage happening there for your enjoyment :)

With any luck my next update will be sooner than next September!

Wednesday, 14 November 0wnag3.
Full Domainage

If you're reading this, you've probably already noticed that the site has a new address. That's right, I finally got off my arse and organised a domain name. Unfortunately, most of my first choices were gone (such as,, etc). is good enough for me though :) Dunno if I'll bother changing the name of the site and so on, unless I feel real creative some day and can be bothered making a new logo and so on.

A big thanks go out to Alphalink, who hosted my partial domain and are now hosting my full domain too. They continue to provide excellent service to me and all their members. Thanks also to Click 'n Go!, who offer domain registration at very nice prices.

Biggest thanks of all needs to go to everyone that's visited the site (almost 18,000 hits in less than 2 years at the old address), and to everyone that's e-mailed me telling me how good it is. If it wasn't for you guys, I wouldn't be doing this.

Anyway, please change your bookmarks to:

No new content, but I should be adding some stuff soon (with any luck!).

Friday, 7 September Biiiiaaaaaatch
Update type thing

It's been a while, I know. Sorry. Sometimes I have better things to do.. sure, here you were, thinking that I spend my whole life trawling the net for 0wnage, depriving myself of sleep for the benefit of my visitors. We'll you're wrong, I only do that 6 days a week. The other day I spend downloading hardcore pr0n.
Just kidding. I have a full time job, a full time girlfriend and a full time addiction to sleeping in. In my spare time, I download hardcore pr0n.
Actually, forget I mentioned the pr0n, ok? :)

Anyway, I've got four new movies and one new pic for your viewing pleasure. They're in the usual places, which I'm sure you'll have no trouble finding by now. As usual kids, don't try this at home, at work, at school, or outside a police station.

Tuesday, 22 May osh osh!
I fucked up, they fucked up

Apologies to those of you who downloaded basketball.mpeg and thought "Err.. that's not ownage!". Somehow I managed to upload the file to two different places, and one of them only had half the file. Then, of course, I managed to link to the wrong one on the Movies page. *slaps forehead* It's been fixed now, so if you haven't enjoyed the full glory of this movie, go take a look now. It's a definite must-see.

In addition to my fuckup, two of the links on the Links page are currently down - The Crash Site and Fifty-Cal Destruction. I've been unable to find if they've moved to another location, so I've marked them as down. If they come back up or you can find a new address for either, please let me know.

Thanks to Gumby, my ever-vigilant fault-finder, for finding all of this for me :)

Friday, 18 May TGIF (again)
New movie (again)

New movie (again). Movies page (as before). End of story (you expected something different?). :)

Friday, 4 May TGIF
New movie

New movie. Movies page. End of story.

Friday, 23 March All your 0wnage are belong to us.
New Pic

Yeah not much except a new pic up on the Pictures page. I bet you didn't expect me to put it there, did you? :) Anyway, this is the first pic added in over 9 months, and it's definitely worth a look. Kids, don't try this at home (or at all!).

Thursday, 15 February hmm..
A 10 Kind of Day

Eep, haven't updated for 3 months.. sorry about that. Luckily it's not 10 months, which is kind of a theme for this update. Most importantly, there are no less than 10 brand-spanking-new movies for your viewing pleasure. Yes, that's right, 10. Ten. T-E-N. Not 9, 10. I think you get the picture. Hope you enjoy them.

Next thing is that the site has moved past the magical wonderful amazing quite crap actually 10,000 hits mark. Thanks to everyone who's visited and spread the word about the site. I originally started the site so that people would have easy access to funny movies - the more people the better, so I'm pleased to see so many hits up in not much over a year. Also a big hello to all the people that bugged me about updating the site.. you can stop whinging now :).

I'd also like to say a huge thanks to Don, who sent me a URL showing that our "Classic Comeback" story is actually false - it's based on an old joke. Full details can be found via the Stories page. I really appreciate this kind of feedback - this site is about real events. If it's made up, it simply isn't 0wnage. I'll leave the story there, but under a Proven false heading.

That's all I have to say for now. *blocks ears to avoid hearing the gasps of amazement* :) Keep enjoying the site!

Sunday, 19 November Splat!
New Movie-type thingy

Umm, there's like this, y'know.. movie.. umm.. thing.. on that err.. movie.. thingy-type page.. it's like.. good.. n stuff.. and like if you want to see it.. you should look at that movies-type page thingymajiggy. No I'm not drunk.

Thursday, 26 October yoink.
2 new movies

Same old, same old.. two new movies are up. I'm sure you know where to find them by now.

Noticed something annoying the other day, Alphalink have managed to fux0r my partial domain, so I'll have to whinge at them to fix it, but till then (if you can see this you probably already know this, but for future reference if they ever do it again) you can use the alternate URL of to access the page.

Another thing I noticed is that the site has moved past 8,000 hits on its inexorable march towards the big 10k.. thanks for all the hits guys (and gals).

Yet another thing I noticed (well didn't notice, had pointed out to me - I think I've been mentally blocking it) is that Christmas is just around the corner. Get ready for 2 months of stomach-churning shite from all the big company bastards out there that want to sell you crap that you don't want to buy so you can give it to some relative you hate who doesn't want it anyway and will probably rewrap it and give it back to you next fucking Christmas. Apparently it's the thought that counts - well I think it's ridiculously over-commercialised. Sure, go buy presents. But why do we have to be bombarded with all this overly soppy and sugary-sweet advertising? Are they trying to convince us that they actually care about the so-called spirit of Christmas? They couldn't give a rat's arse. In fact they've totally missed the whole point. Christmas is about giving, it's about family, it's about being nice for a change. To all these stores it's about one thing: PROFIT. They don't care what you do with your Christmas, as long as you fork over your hard-earned to them to do it. Sure, that's their business, but for those of us who aren't all that interested in buying, buying and more buying, the way they go about their business is just a goddam pain in the butt. Everywhere you go, everytime you turn on the tv or the radio, you're hit with it. "We've got the greatest gifts for your dad/mum/sister/brother/second cousin/neighbour's dog/guy you met once down at the pub whose name you don't even know but it's Christmas so BUY HIM A FUCKING PRESENT ANYWAY COS YOU'RE MEANT TO FUCKING GIVE!!!". Bullshit they've got the best presents, they've got the same as every other goddam store. Replace everytime they say "give" with "buy" and you'll get the picture. Cos they don't give a shit about you, or your family, or giving, or Christmas. They want your money. So hand it over, suckers.

* Rant disclaimer: If you disagree with the content of my rant, or want to bug me about it in any way, I'm not interested. It's my opinion, it's my site. If I wanted your opinion, I would have gone to your site and read it there. What, you don't have a site? Well shut up, stop wasting time and go build one. It's not that hard.

Wednesday, 4 October *coughs up a lung*
Missing movies back up, plus a couple

Those movies that were offline are back up, as well as a couple of others that I rediscovered.. it's rather strange, they were here on my hard drive but not listed on the page.. I must have fucked up, which isn't unusual. Anyways, have fun. Or don't. Up to you. Sif I care anyway.

Friday, 29 September Having a cold is FUN
A few movies offline

A few of the movies are offline at the moment, it's because of a fuckup with one of the webspaces I'm using. I should be able to re-upload the movies a bit later today. Bayside Trains apologises for any inconvenience caused.

Monday, 25 September Bronze! Bronze for Australia!
4 new movies.. fuck all else

In case you hadn't guessed from the headline, there are 4 new movies on the Movies page. A nice little collection of 0wnage for your viewing pleasure. Nothing else.. time to get back to watching the Aussies win more silver medals at the Olympics :)

Sunday, 3 September True, true.
New movie

Sorry, only one. Oh well. It's on the Movies page, but if you didn't already realise that then you're a bit slow and should probably look into getting some internet training, or have yourself put out of your misery with a bullet to the head. Actually forget that first one, just go for the second.. do your part for humanity and help improve the gene pool. And if you don't realise that I'm just kidding, then I'll come shoot you myself :)
This wav is rather amusing.. wouldn't you just dyslexic be love to? (and yes, I did that on purpose).

Tuesday, 15 August And now for something completely different.
2 new movies

Yada yada, 2 new movies.. on that Movies page-type thing.. enjoy. Thanks to Gumby and memnoch for these ones.
I can't be bothered typing anything more right now :)

Tuesday, 1 August Mmm.. drop?
3 new movies, etc.

Sorry for the lack of updates recently, I had a couple of weeks off work, so I didn't have time to update the page as I was busy doing.. umm.. nothing :). Anyway, there's 3 new movies up, so go take a look. basketball.mpg is a must-see, it's bloody classic.

The site went past 5,000 hits some time in the last few weeks. Thanks to Glennz0r who pointed out that VindicTiV mentioned the site in his column on Challenge-AU - one of the biggest quake sites in Australia. Apparently "The site owns..", which is good to hear and a nice ego boost for myself :).

Now for some editorital comment. The GST shits me. Nearly everything I pay for has gone up, and I've hardly got any income tax break at all. Not to mention that so many places are blatantly profiteering from the confusion by upping their prices by much more than 10%. I won't mention any names, but pizza up from $11 to $12.50, burger with the lot from $3 to $3.50, minimum chips from $1.50 to $1.80 is more than 10%. Get out your calculator if you don't believe me. Mobile bill - up. Cable internet bill - up. Concert tickets - up. Footy tickets - up. Train tickets - up. Shouting a movie and lunch is now getting prohibitively expensive, as an adult movie ticket is the ridiculous price of $13.70 (they were overpriced to start with, but that's another issue). Not to mention that fast food and drinks has all gone up. Now you could say that lots of things have gone down.. but the products that have gone down aren't things that you need to buy or pay for regularly. How often do you buy a new TV? Or upgrade your computer? Not often. But you go to the pub and have a few drinks or go out and grab a video on a regular basis. All these regular things have gone up. Your average family is gonna get slugged a shitload of GST every 3 months when their gas, electricity, water and phone bills arrive. IMO it's just bullshit to tax people for essential services like that. Now don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with the idea of a GST - I have a problem with the fairness of the way it's been implemented here. Low-income earners, students and pensioners don't spend much money on extras - they spend money on essentials like food. Most of their essentials have increased in price, and because they hardly earn any income, they get almost no tax break. High-income earners, on the other hand, spend more money on non-essentials.. and these are the products that have had their 22% wholesales tax replaced with 10% GST, so they are cheaper. And they have also received huge income tax cuts. They can now buy a BMW without paying the 45% luxury car tax. A young student has to buy a used car with a 10% increase in cost due to the GST. What a fuckin crock. And if it wasn't for the Democrats (yes they are occasionally good for something), that same student would be paying a full 10% GST on his/her textbooks - and if you've noticed the price of textbooks recently, that's quite a bit of money. There's so many more examples I could give (HECS and rent for starters), but John Howard might start calling me un-Australian for criticising his policies. We wouldn't want that, would we now.
PS. Do not e-mail me wanting to discuss the issue or point out inconsistencies or anything like that. I'm not really interested. E-mails on this issue will be deleted without reply, unless it's from John Howard, in which case i'll post it on the site and make fun of his Mr. Sheen-like appearance :).

I found this amusing, you might too.. I happened to be listening to my brother talking to his girlfriend on the phone (we were waiting for the train). Here's a snippet:

Him (to her): Sorry for giving you a sore throat.
Me: hahahaha
*not long after*
Him (to her): Is it only when you swallow?
Me: bwahahahahahaha *tries hard not to fall over from laughing*
Please note that this is completely out of context.. they were talking about her catching the cold he had :).
Friday, 9 June *burp*
Ah so that's where some of the hits have been coming from

Just got an e-mail from a Dr. SuEsS, who writes:

"I was recently checking out the latest news from your most awesome of pages. You were wondering where all your hits were coming from. I can't claim to know where they all come from but I think I should inform you that at our school (St Patricks College Ballarat) your site has become a cult hit. it gets accessed basicly every class and probably at least 30 hits a day would about right. Keep up the good work."
Thanks for the support, I really appreciate it.. greets to all the guys at St Pat's in Ballarat!

Oh and there's a new pic up on the Pictures page.
Saturday, 27 May Armageddon!
Stuffed files

Apologies to anyone who downloaded pantsoff.avi, pinjata.mpeg and/or wc.mpeg yesterday. These files didn't upload properly and ended up corrupted. You'll need to download them again. *kicks the ftp server*

Friday, 26 May Your pants have new e-mail.
9 new movies

That's right, nine new movies are up. You'll see them down the bottom in the Movies section. Some of the things involved in this new 0wnage are: a keg of beer, a crocodile, an elephant, a bull, a pinjata, a snowmobile, a toilet and Bill Gates.. not all at once of course. Enjoy.
PS. Big thanks to Gumby for the extra webspace.. you rock :)
Oh and check this out for a good laugh: armageddon.mp3. "In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake, but I was just trying to retrieve the gerbil". Thanks to slider for this one.

Thursday, 25 May bl33p
3000 hits, New 0wnage soon

The page clocked up 3,000 hits at some point over the last couple of days. I've got no idea where all these visitors are coming from, but who cares as long as they keep coming and spread the word :).
I've got a few new movies waiting to go up, I just need to get my hands on some more webspace, so with any luck they'll be up within the next few days. In the meantime, if you want a laugh then check this out.

Tuesday, 16 May blah.
New page layout

As you will have already noticed, the page has a new layout. I hope you like it.. if you don't, well shuddup and stop your whinging :). The new design basically makes the site a bit easier to handle, with the old layout (one page) it would have got longer and longer as I added content, making it hard to navigate and increasing the load time for you poor modem users out there. It also allows me to easily include this News section.. here I'll mention any new content that gets added to the site. I might also put links to anything I find interesting, funny, or worth mentioning. Occasionally I might also put forth my opinion (aka. rant) on whatever subject I'm feeling worked up about at the time. I'd say "stay tuned" but that's just so damned cliche that I can't bring myself to type it. So come back and take a look whenever the hell you feel like it.


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